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There are few sounds in funeral service that command attention like a ringing phone. It does not matter where you are or what you are doing. The call cuts through everything, because instinct tells us it might matter. Often, it does. For many funeral directors, that instinct has led to a long-held belief that they should be the one answering every call. Business phones are forwarded to personal cell phones. Availability becomes a badge of honor. It feels like commitment.It f

Every year, I see leaders post their reading lists. Stacks of books. Big ideas. Good intentions. And every year, I’m reminded of a hard truth I learned early on:most books inform us; very few  change  us. The books that actually shape us tend to arrive quietly. They don’t shout tactics. They tell stories that feel uncomfortably familiar. They slow us down long enough to ask better questions about who we are when no one is watching. That’s why, if you’re already thinking about

A Conversation with Jay Jacobson, Author of  Lead by Legendary Example - by Thomas Parmalee, FuneralVision Leadership in funeral service rarely announces itself. It shows up in preparation, restraint, consistency, and presence long before it’s tested in public moments. In an industry built on trust, the most influential leaders are often the least visible. That reality sits at the heart of  Lead by Legendary Example , a new book by funeral director, business owner, and lead

A quiet shift, a deeper calling I still remember when a family sat across the desk from me, papers neatly stacked between us, pens lined up like we were about to sign something important. Because we were. There was time to pause. Time to read faces. Time to answer questions before they were fully formed. That moment still happens. But less often. More and more, the first conversation happens on a phone. Or through an email sent late at night. Or on a FaceTime call from a hosp

"Practical, real, and deeply human. That’s how I describe Jay Jacobson’s new book, Lead by Legendary Example . This powerful leadership blueprint really hits home for me because it reinforces what I’ve seen in every great organization — culture is not built by policies but by people who lead with heart. Jay reminds us that leadership begins with presence, integrity, and daily consistency. It’s the same principle that powers any culture that rocks: people follow what they feel

Introduction Some stories never leave you. They linger not because they are dramatic, but because they are true. Because they reveal the quiet character of a profession at its very best. Because they remind us why we chose this work in the first place. The essay that follows was written by my dear friend Todd Van Beck; a gifted funeral director, teacher, thinker, and fellow Iowan. Todd was one of those rare voices in funeral service who could articulate what many of us felt b

Teaching Augmented Intelligence to Think, Write, and Serve Like Your Funeral Home I remember the exact moment I knew something wasn’t right. The work was technically correct. The details were handled. Nothing obvious was broken. But halfway through reading it, I stopped. Not because of an error.Because it didn’t sound like  us . The words were efficient. Polished. Professional. And completely disconnected from why we do what we do in funeral service. It read like it could hav

By Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP,  Author – “Lead by Legendary Example” Before you plan where you are going, honor the people who brought you here. I remember a particular December evening at the funeral home. It was the thirtieth of the month, and most of the world seemed to be winding down. Our team was still moving. Slowly, quietly, but moving. The kind of movement that comes not from energy but from commitment. I walked through the prep room hallway, past the arrangement

Lately, I’ve been getting many questions about agentic Augmented Intelligence. What is it, really? How is it different from the AI tools we already see every day? Is this something small businesses, and funeral homes in particular, should actually be paying attention to? Those questions are thoughtful. They’re also telling. They signal that leaders aren’t just curious about technology; they’re trying to understand its implications. Not just what it can do, but what it might

I was in my office early one morning reviewing population data when one statistic stopped me. According to a new U.S. Census Bureau report, older adults now outnumber children in eleven states, including Florida, Maine, and Pennsylvania. Nearly half of U.S. counties have crossed that same threshold. I read it again. It felt like a Midwest morning when a storm is coming. You see clouds gathering and assume you still have time. Then the wind shifts. The storm is already overhea

Introduction Author’s Note: Why Lead by Legendary Example  Leadership is not declared; it is lived. We live in a world saturated with titles, strategies, and quick fixes, yet what people hunger for most is authenticity. They want to see leaders whose words and actions align, leaders who bring integrity to their decisions, presence to their relationships, vision to their goals, servant hearts to their teams, adaptability to changing times, and mentorship to the next generation

I still remember the first funeral home I ever worked in. The height of our technology sat on a small metal table near the arrangement room. One black rotary dial phone and an adding machine. That was it. If the phone rang while someone else was using it, you waited. If the adding machine jammed, you fixed it with a pen cap and a steady hand. And we answered the phone ourselves. Every hour. Every day. Every night. There was no answering service. No pager. No cell phone clippe

Leadership in a Board of Directors is not measured by titles or tenure. It reveals itself through presence, preparation, and the courage to speak with clarity when tensions rise. Strong boards understand that their highest responsibility is to protect the mission and pursue the vision of the organization. When directors hold to that standard, the board stays aligned even during difficult conversations. When they drift from it, the room follows. Mission and vision serve as the

A Reflection on Family, Friendship, Work, and the Urgency We Often Forget Every family carries a truth we rarely say aloud. One sibling will see all the funerals. One will see none. And one will leave before anyone is ready. It’s a heavy thought until you realize how universally it applies. The same pattern shows up among friends, coworkers, committees, leadership teams, and even the groups we drift through in daily life. In every circle, someone will take the first step into

How to Host a $100 Tip Lunch: A Tradition of Generosity and Joy Some traditions are inherited. Others are created on purpose because they leave a mark on people in ways a holiday gift never could. Our $100 Tip Lunch has become one of those traditions for our family and friends. It is simple in structure, robust in impact, and filled with the kind of joy that stays with you long after the food is cleared. If you have ever wanted to surprise someone with generosity at just the

It is a question people whisper in hallways more often than they admit. Your boss is terminated. A leadership position opens overnight. Now what? Do you raise your hand, or do you wait to be considered? Here is the honest truth: If you are asking this question in the moment, you are already behind. Leadership opportunities rarely arrive on a smooth, predictable schedule. They show up on Tuesday afternoons when no one sees them coming. They show up after reorganizations, retir

Christmas The Birth of Jesus and the Gifts That Still Matter Each year, as Christmas approaches, we return to a story that has outlasted centuries. A long journey. A crowded town. A stable offered out of necessity rather than comfort. And in that humble place, Mary wrapped her newborn son in cloths and laid him in a manger. Shepherds keeping watch heard an angel say,  Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy.  They hurried into Bethlehem and found the child just a

Walking Through Grief During the Holidays – by Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP The holidays arrive with sparkle and a soundtrack. Lights twinkle across porches. Stores hum with music. Commercials promise joy, warmth, and perfect moments framed in ribbons and bows. But for many, the season begins with a quiet ache that echoes the opening line of the song by Faith Hill: “Where are you, Christmas? Why can’t I find you?” That lyric captures what grief often feels like this time of

Some milestones arrive quietly. Others arrive with a weight that settles over your heart and reminds you just how far the journey has been. Today is one of those moments. I am honored to share that  Lead by Legendary Example  is now available on Amazon. Here is the direct link : https://www.amazon.com/dp/1970368012 This book did not spring from a single idea or a Saturday afternoon of inspiration. It was written in the margins of long days, in the early morning hours when th

Why This One Sentence Tells the Real Story of Leadership** There are compliments. There are thank yous. And then there is the moment a client looks at you—sometimes tired, sometimes relieved, sometimes a little emotional—and says: “We couldn’t have done it without your help.” That line carries weight. It signals that something deeper happened beneath the surface. In funeral service and small business leadership, that sentence is rarely about convenience. It is usually born f