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Adversity has a way of shrinking the room. When trouble first arrives, the world gets smaller. The calendar disappears. Long-term plans fade into the background. The next phone call, the next medical report, the next bill, the next hard conversation, the next breath, that is all you can see. I have felt that kind of narrowing. Most of us have. A diagnosis. A business setback. A failed plan. A family crisis. A grief that sits in the chair across from you and refuses to leave.

Every funeral home has stories. They live in the preparation room and the arrangement office. They travel in the hearse on the way to the cemetery. They are passed between experienced funeral directors and the young apprentice working their first visitation. They surface around the lunch table after a difficult service and sometimes years later when someone says, “Do you remember that family?” The question is not whether we have stories. The question is whether we recognize t

By Jay U. Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP Whenever I tell someone how I interview prospective funeral directors, they usually laugh. "You do what?" I simply smile. When a candidate arrives for an interview, I don't immediately invite them into my office. Instead, I ask if they'd mind driving me to their favorite coffee shop. It sounds odd. I've even had a few applicants give me a puzzled look before saying, "Sure." During the drive we talk. Not about embalming. N

As printed in FuneralVision.com What executive movement across death care should make us ask about leadership, culture, and the relationships we say matter I remember when changing suppliers in funeral service was a big deal. I mean a really big deal. You didn't discover another company was three percent cheaper on Monday and move thirty years of business by Friday. There was history involved. Your casket representative knew you. Your vault company knew your staff. Your prene

What Ted Lasso Can Teach Funeral Service About Unrealistic Hospitality Ted Lasso arrived in England to coach a sport he did not fully understand. He knew American football. He did not know English football. He was unfamiliar with the culture, doubted by the players, mocked by the public, and placed in a position where nearly everyone expected him to fail. Still, Ted walked through the door. He did not pretend to possess knowledge he did not have. He led with curiosity, humili

By Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP There is a disturbing story unfolding in Chicago that many people may not have heard about yet. They should. Authorities say 56 deceased people were discovered improperly stored at South Chicago Chapel, some reportedly in advanced stages of decomposition. Illinois regulators described deplorable conditions, including unrefrigerated remains, rodent infestation, decomposition and maggot infestation. A funeral director's license associated with

Could Repeated Exposure to Death Become a Source of Strength? A recent article in Connecting Directors, “The Long-term Effects of Repeated Exposure to Death,” stopped me in my tracks. Not because the subject was new. Anyone who has spent a lifetime in funeral service understands the weight of repeated exposure to death. We do not meet death once in a while. We meet it in hospital rooms, nursing homes, private residences, accident scenes, prep rooms, chapels, churches, cemeter

THE POWER OF THREE Legendary Examples Are Built Together July 2026 We believe that leadership isn't a solo journey. The most profound impacts are felt when stories are shared, echoing through a community that values growth and integrity. Today, we are inviting you to join a small, intentional circle of three. As a reader of 'Lead by Legendary Example', you are part of a narrative that seeks to elevate the standard of professional excellence. We have set a collective goal to r

A fable I remember my grandmother sharing, adapted for this blog on critical communication. There was once an elder who sat with a young boy at the edge of the village as the day was beginning to settle into evening. The fire had burned low. The air was quiet. The kind of quiet that makes a young person ask questions they might not ask in the busyness of the day. The boy had been troubled. Earlier, he had seen two men argue. Their voices had grown sharp. Their faces had harde

Refusing to Let a Grieving Family Feel Like a Transaction The phone does not ring at a funeral home because someone is having an ordinary day. It rings because something has happened. A husband has died in the night. A mother is declining faster than the family expected. A son is calling from three states away, trying to make decisions he never imagined he would have to make. A daughter may be sitting in a hospital parking lot, staring at the steering wheel, trying to find th

The first time a funeral director truly comes face to face with Augmented Intelligence, it probably won’t feel like science fiction. It may happen late in the afternoon, after the family has gone home. The arrangement room is quiet again. The coffee cups are still on the table. A few tissues are crumpled near the chair where the daughter sat, trying to hold herself together long enough to talk about her father’s life. The director has notes scattered across the desk: dates, m

There are some lessons leadership doesn’t teach from a stage. They don’t come from a keynote, a strategy session, or a perfectly polished mission statement. They come from the ordinary moments most people overlook. They come from the phone call answered with patience when the day is already full. They come from the staff member who needs help when there’s no spotlight. They come from the client who asks the same question for the third time because grief, pressure, fear, or un

Every funeral home owner knows the feeling. You make the hire with hope. Maybe the resume looked solid. Maybe the interview felt right. Maybe the candidate had just enough polish, just enough experience, just enough promise to make you believe they could grow into the person your firm needed. So you welcome them in. You introduce them to the staff. You show them the arrangement room, the prep room, the garage, the chapel, the filing system, the phone protocol, the way

By Jay U. Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP There is a particular kind of silence that settles over a funeral home after a difficult service. The flowers have been gathered. The chairs are back in place. The register book is closed. The last car has pulled away from the curb, and the building exhales. To the family, the funeral may feel like a blur. To the staff, every moment is still sharp. The look on the widow’s face when she first walked into the chapel. The grandchild who could

Every leader has walked into that room. The meeting has ended, but the conversation has not. A few people linger near the doorway. Someone lowers their voice. Someone else looks over a shoulder. Then it begins. “Did you hear what happened?” “I probably should not say this, but . . .” “Between us, I am just concerned.” And just like that, the room changes. No agenda was passed out. No vote was taken. No one announced that trust was being placed on the table. But it was. Trust

The first sign is rarely a resignation letter. It’s quieter than that. It’s the senior manager who used to lean forward in meetings and now sits back with folded hands. It’s the department head who once brought ideas before anyone asked and now waits to be assigned. It’s the emerging leader who smiles, nods, and keeps the peace while something inside them begins to detach. No one calls it a crisis yet. The numbers may still look fine. The customers may still be served. The bo

- Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP; Jacobson Professional Staffing Success in funeral service rarely begins in the chapel. It begins with the phone. Before a family walks through the door, before they sit across from a funeral director, before arrangements are made or services are planned, someone makes a call. Sometimes it comes at two in the morning. Sometimes it comes from a hospital room, a nursing home, a hospice nurse, a police officer, or a daughter sitting alone at a

By the time someone shuts down in a conversation, the conditions for that shutdown have often been building for a long time. That is why this final post matters so much. Because if all we do is react well in the moment, but never build a healthier culture around the moment, we will keep seeing the same silence return in different forms. A funeral home teaches people every day what kind of place it is. It teaches that through tone. Through correction. Through follo

This is where leadership gets personal. Because once silence enters the room, the next few words often matter more than the last ten minutes of conversation. You can feel it when it happens. A staff member withdraws in the middle of a hard conversation. A family member goes still at the arrangement table. The air changes. The pace changes. Something in the room tightens. And in that moment, leaders often feel the pressure to do one of two things: talk more or leave it a

This is the season of caps and gowns. Across high school gyms, college campuses, auditoriums, football fields, and family backyards, graduates are stepping across stages into whatever comes next. Speeches are being given. Pictures are being taken. Parents are trying not to cry too early. And somewhere in nearly every graduation message is the same idea: you are ready for the future. But readiness does not happen because someone hands you a diploma. Readiness happens because o