Internship Training: Before They Shadow an Arrangement

Setting Interns Up for Success Before Their First Family Meeting

Welcoming interns into a funeral home is an investment in the future of the profession. But before an intern ever sits in on their first arrangement conference, there’s essential groundwork that must be laid. Shadowing a licensed funeral director isn’t just about watching and listening; it’s about understanding the gravity of the moment, the expectations of the profession, and the emotional space we’re being invited into.

Orientation Isn’t Optional

·       A tour of the facility

·       A review of HIPAA and confidentiality expectations

·       A primer on professional dress and demeanor

·       Clear boundaries on what they can and cannot do legally

Teach the Why Before the What

Interns are often eager to learn the logistics, what forms to use, what questions to ask, how to enter data into the system. But before we teach the what, we need to teach the why. Why do families come to us? Why do we hold arrangement conferences in a certain way? Why do our words and body language matter?This is where mission and purpose take center stage. Without this grounding, everything else becomes rote.

Script Familiarity and Terminology

·       How introductions are made

·       What information is gathered and why

·       What phrases are helpful (and what to avoid)

Situational Awareness and Emotional Intelligence

·       Where to sit

·       When to speak (or more importantly, when not to)

·       How to remain professional even in awkward or emotional moments

Confidentiality and Trust

Reinforce that every interaction they witness is protected by confidentiality. They are being invited into an intimate space. Trust is earned, not assumed.

Active Note-Taking Builds Listening and Observation Skills

Interns shouldn’t just sit quietly and watch—they should actively engage by taking notes throughout the arrangement conference. This serves two purposes: it builds the habit of capturing critical details while listening, and it helps develop their ability to stay present and focused in real time.Notes should not only include factual details shared during the conversation but also observations about the room, non-verbal cues, body language, emotional tone, and moments of silence. Did a family member glance away when burial was mentioned? Did the mood shift when certain names or topics were brought up? These are valuable insights that shape how we guide families.Reviewing these notes with the supervising funeral director after the conference can provide a powerful teaching opportunity. It helps interns understand what they picked up, what they missed, and how to connect both the spoken and unspoken elements of the arrangement process.

Coach on Asking Open-Ended Questions

In follow-up discussions and as they prepare to support families more directly, interns should be encouraged to use open-ended questions that go beyond collecting data. Instead of asking, "Was your mother employed?" they might ask, "Can you tell me about your mother’s work and how she spent her time?" Or, "Do you know the story of how your mom and dad met?" These kinds of questions invite stories, uncover values, and build a more personal and healing experience for the family.Helping interns understand the purpose and placement of open-ended questions not only improves their communication skills but also deepens their empathy and confidence.

Final Thought

When interns are prepared before they shadow, they learn more, contribute more, and are less likely to make mistakes that break trust. Investing ample time in this kind of pre-shadow training can save weeks of re-teaching and repair. More importantly, it sets a tone of respect, for the family, for the profession, and for the intern’s role in both.

Because the goal isn’t just to teach them what to do, it’s to shape who they become