If We Call You, We've Already Done Our Homework

The consumer’s first phone call may be the final step in a decision that began online

By Jay Jacobson

Picture a daughter at her kitchen table after everyone else has gone to bed. Her father has died. She has three funeral home websites open, a few notes on a pad and a question she wishes she did not have to ask: “How much is direct cremation?” She reads a price on one site, but cannot tell what it includes. Another site describes a memorial service, but she is not sure whether that means a gathering before or after cremation. She reads reviews because she wants to know how these people treat families when the decisions get hard.

Then she picks up the phone. The call did not begin when the phone rang. She has already met the firm online. She has formed an impression, narrowed her options and decided what she needs to ask. Now she wants to know whether the people sound like the promise on the website.

When we treat that call as a cold inquiry, we start in the wrong place. We hear the price question and assume price is the entire decision. The caller may be asking something bigger:

Can you help me understand what I found, and can I trust you with what happens next?

The first impression may happen before the phone rings

The research tells us why this moment matters. The 2026 Funeral and Cemetery Consumer Behavior Study found that 60% of recent consumers searched for a location online. Among future consumers, 81% expect to do so. Search engines and funeral home websites were the leading research tools, used by 78% and 69% of respondents, respectively. Two-thirds wanted price information on the funeral home website.

That does not mean families want a website to make every decision for them. NFDA’s 2025 Consumer Awareness and Preferences Survey found that about half of respondents who had helped plan a funeral visited at least one funeral home website. Nearly three in ten completed all arrangements online; 39.4% began online and finished in person with a funeral director. Among those who made at least some arrangements online, 47.9% said the experience was good but they still needed a funeral director’s help.

That last finding stays with me. A person can appreciate the convenience of doing research privately and still need a knowledgeable human being. The website gives the family a starting point. The conversation helps them understand what those words and prices mean for their situation.

It also means that the employee answering the phone needs to know what the website says. If the site promises personal guidance, a rushed answer makes that promise feel hollow. If it shows a starting price, the staff member should be ready to explain what is included and what could change the total. Consumers do not experience “digital” and “phone” as separate departments. They experience one funeral home.

Walk through your own website the way a family might. Start with a service page, look for the price, then ask the question the page leaves unanswered. Call the funeral home and see whether the answer matches the page. The exercise may reveal a training issue, a website issue or both. It is difficult to deliver a consistent experience when the information a family reads and the information a staff member gives have never been checked together.

A price question may come late in the decision

We sometimes imagine the caller dialing every provider in town and filling in a comparison chart. Some families do exactly that. But NFDA’s 2025 survey found that 54.7% of respondents contacted or visited only one funeral home when planning a service. The 2025 respondent group skewed older and had lower incomes than the previous year’s group, so that figure is not a universal market rate. Still, it should make us pause before assuming that an incoming call is the beginning of the search.

It may be the end of one. The family may already know where the funeral home is, what its reviews say and whether its website feels approachable. The voice on the phone is the remaining test.

Johnson Consulting Group’s 2026 Trends and Insights report draws on 654,327 sales and survey records collected over five years. Among direct-cremation families, 10.4% cited initial contact as a reason for choosing a firm, while 10.8% cited price. Families could give more than one reason, so these are not competing slices of one decision. They do tell us that the initial conversation can matter alongside cost.

That is an important distinction. It does not suggest that a kind voice makes price irrelevant. It means the person who answers can either give meaning to the number or leave the caller alone with it.

Answer the question they asked

If the caller asks for a price, give a clear answer. Dodging it because you want to “build value” first can sound like you are hiding something. But stopping after the number is also incomplete. What does the quoted amount cover? What will the family still need to decide? Is there a difference between what the caller saw online and what the family is actually describing?

Price was the primary reason for choosing a funeral home for 9.4% of families across all case types in the Johnson Consulting Group data in 2025. For direct cremation, the figure was 12.9%. Cost matters, particularly in that category, but it does not explain every choice. The caller who asks “How much?” may also be asking whether there can be a gathering, when the ashes will be returned or whether anything is required of the family right now.

After answering the question, a funeral professional might say, “Let me explain what that includes. Then, if it would help, we can talk about whether your family wants a time to gather.” That leaves the choice where it belongs. It also lets the caller compare services instead of comparing two numbers that may represent different things.

Notice what this response does not do. It does not insist that the family buy a different service. It does not treat the first question as evidence that the caller wants nothing else. It gives the caller a clearer picture of the choices attached to the price. If the family wants only the arrangement first described, the funeral professional can help them move forward with confidence. If they want to explore another way to gather, that conversation is now possible.

The words on the website may not mean what we think

There is another reason to slow down. We use the language of funeral service every day. Families do not. NFDA’s 2025 study How Consumers Talk and Think About Funerals surveyed 1,104 consumers. Only 16% correctly defined a memorial service as a ceremony without the body present. Just 25% had heard the term direct cremation.

Think about how easily a conversation can go wrong when both people use the same words but picture different events. A caller says, “We just want a memorial service.” The funeral director hears a familiar service category. The caller may be picturing ten people in a living room next month. Or a gathering at the funeral home before cremation. Or no gathering at all. Nothing in the phrase tells us which.

This is where a good question does more than a polished explanation. “When you say memorial service, what are you imagining?” Ask it without making the caller feel corrected. Listen to the answer before describing packages or facilities. Families should not need to know our vocabulary to tell us what they need.

A simple arrangement can still hold a complicated choice

Direct cremation is often marketed through its simplicity. That may be exactly what a family wants. It may also be the only option they have heard described clearly. We should be careful not to mistake familiarity with the phrase for understanding of the experience.

A 2026 Cremation Society study in the United Kingdom found that 62% of adults had heard of direct cremation, although understanding varied. Among 205 respondents who knew someone who had a direct cremation, 50% reported at least one negative reaction; 31% felt they had not said goodbye properly. The same group also reported positive reactions: 56% selected at least one, including relief that there was no funeral or satisfaction with the decision. People could select multiple reactions, and the U.K. findings cannot be treated as predictions for U.S. families.

What the findings suggest is a conversation worth having. A family choosing direct cremation may feel relieved by its simplicity. Someone else in the same family may wish there had been a moment to gather. The funeral professional cannot decide which feeling is right. We can explain what the arrangement includes, ask how the family wants to remember the person who died and make sure they know what choices remain open.

Make the call useful after it ends

I would want every first conversation to do five things. Learn the caller’s name and acknowledge the situation. Find out what the caller has already read or been told. Answer the stated question plainly. Ask one question that reveals what matters to this family. Then agree on a next step. The order is less important than whether the caller leaves with more clarity than they had before dialing.

That next step can be as simple as an email summarizing the price, what it includes and the options discussed. But it cannot happen unless we have the caller’s name and a way to reach them. Asking for a phone number and email is not merely data collection. It is how a helpful conversation becomes a helpful follow-up. Ask permission, explain what you will send and say when the family can expect it.

The follow-up should sound like a continuation of the call, not a brochure sent to everyone. Refer to the question the caller asked. Put the discussed price and inclusions in writing. Note any point that still needs an answer and who will provide it. A family making decisions together can return to that message later, when another relative asks what was said. The written recap also gives the funeral home a chance to show that it listened.

Supervisors can coach to these behaviors. When reviewing a call, listen for more than warmth. Did the employee answer the actual question? Did the employee learn what the caller meant by the terms they used? Was the price explained accurately? Did the conversation end with a next step the family wanted? Those are observable habits a team can practice and improve.

Questions that make room for the family

These are prompts, not lines to read in sequence. Each gives the caller room to tell us something the website could not.

1.  “What have you found so far, and what would be most helpful to clarify?”

2.  “When you use that term (such as, “direct cremation”), what are you imagining for your family?”

3.  “Would it help if I explained what this price includes and what would be additional?”

4.  “Would you like a written summary of what we discussed?”

5.  “What is the best way to send that, and when would a follow-up be useful?”

The promise on the screen meets the person on the phone

Return to the daughter at the kitchen table. By the time she calls, she has done what we often encourage consumers to do: research her options, look for prices, read about services and ask questions. What she cannot learn from a browser tab is how this funeral home will treat her when she says she is unsure.

That is the moment the call answers. A rushed greeting or vague explanation can undo the confidence built online. A patient, direct conversation can confirm that the firm is what it appeared to be. And a thoughtful follow-up shows the family that the care did not end when the call did.

The caller’s message may be simpler than we realize: If we call you, we have already done our homework. Treat the question as the beginning of a relationship, even if it comes late in the search. Answer it. Learn what is underneath it. Then give the family something useful to carry into the decision ahead.

Sources

1. 2026 Funeral and Cemetery Consumer Behavior Study. Foresight and Fortitude Research and Marketing; more than 5,000 consumers and 1,000 professionals.

2. Survey Says The NFDA Consumer Awareness and Preferences Survey. Edward J. Defort and Deana Gillespie, The Director, August 2025.

3. When Words Matter Research Study. NFDA, 2025; survey of 1,104 consumers across four generations.

4. 2026 Trends and Insights. Johnson Consulting Group Performance Tracker X; 654,327 at-need sales and survey records over five years.

5. Public Perceptions of Cremation. Cremation Society, 2026; U.K. focus groups and a representative survey of almost 1,600 adults.