How to Train Your Dragon

Teaching Augmented Intelligence to Think, Write, and Serve Like Your Funeral Home

I remember the exact moment I knew something wasn’t right.

The work was technically correct. The details were handled. Nothing obvious was broken.

But halfway through reading it, I stopped.

Not because of an error.Because it didn’t sound like us.

The words were efficient. Polished. Professional. And completely disconnected from why we do what we do in funeral service. It read like it could have come from anywhere. Any business. Any industry. Anyone.

And that’s a dangerous place for a funeral home to be.

That moment took me back years earlier, long before Augmented Intelligence entered the conversation.

We had hired a sharp new team member. Smart. Capable. Well-intentioned. We gave them access to systems, responsibility to act, and a list of tasks to complete. What we didn’t give them was far more critical.

We didn’t give them our mission. We didn’t give them our values. We didn’t give them the stories that explain why we slow down when others rush, or why dignity consistently outranks efficiency.

Within days, the work was coming back fast and clean, and subtly wrong. Emails felt transactional. Decisions leaned toward convenience. The care was technically there, but the presence wasn’t.

The problem wasn’t competence. It was alignment.

That same lesson applies today as funeral homes begin experimenting with Augmented Intelligence.

“How do you get AI to sound like you? “How do you keep it from feeling cold? “How do you make sure it doesn’t dilute your culture?”

What leaders are really asking is this: How do I use a powerful tool without losing who we are?

And the answer isn’t technical.

It’s leadership.

The First Time the Dragon Breathes Fire

The first time you put Augmented Intelligence to work, it can feel impressive. Fast. Confident. Capable.

Then you read what it produces.

And your stomach tightens.

The tone is off. The words are fine, but hollow. It sounds like something you would never say to a grieving family.

That’s usually the moment people decide AI “isn’t ready” for funeral service.

But what’s actually happening is simpler.

The dragon hasn’t been trained.

Augmented Intelligence arrives powerful but directionless. If you only teach it tasks, it will optimize for speed. If you only feed it efficiency, it will give you efficiency back. It doesn’t know your standards, your ethics, or your values unless you teach them.

Just like a new funeral director in their first week.

Standard AI vs Agentic Augmented Intelligence, in Human Terms

Standard AI is like a checklist.

Helpful. Reliable. It waits for instructions. It drafts an obituary. Sends a reminder. Pulls a form. But it stops when something changes. It looks to you for the next step.

Agentic Augmented Intelligence is different.

It works toward an outcome.

Instead of saying, “Draft this email,” you say, “Make sure the Johnson family is cared for and tomorrow’s service is prepared.”

It notices the visitation ran long. It adjusts follow-ups so they aren’t rushed. It prepares drafts for review, flags missing details, and lines things up for the morning.

It doesn’t replace you. It anticipates the work.

That difference isn’t technical. It’s human.

Why Mission and Values Must Come First

Here’s the part that matters most for funeral service.

Augmented Intelligence must be trained on your mission and values before it’s trusted with your voice.

Funeral homes don’t exist to optimize workflows. They exist to serve families in moments of profound vulnerability. Speed without care erodes trust. Consistency without compassion feels empty.

If your dragon is trained only on tasks, it will chase efficiency. If it’s trained on mission, it will honor restraint.

That means explicitly teaching it:

• Who you serve

• What dignity looks like in your firm

• Where you never cut corners

• When silence matters more than speed

You share your mission statement. You explain your values in plain language. You give examples of decisions where care outweighed convenience.

Over time, the output changes.

Not because the tool is “smarter,” but because it’s aligned.

Culture Is the Curriculum

This is where many leaders miss the opportunity.

Every correction you make is a lesson.

“This is accurate, but it doesn’t sound like us. “This feels efficient, but it lacks warmth. “This needs to slow down.”

Augmented Intelligence learns culture the same way people do. Through repetition. Through feedback. Through example.

Silence teaches nothing. Correction builds alignment.

Ethical Guardrails in Funeral Service

There are lines Augmented Intelligence must never cross.

It should never:

• Speak to families without human review

• Make decisions that affect pricing, services, or timing autonomously

• Replace presence with convenience

• Optimize for speed at the expense of dignity

Every message that reaches a family must pass through human eyes. Every system must remain accountable to a person. Data must be stewarded with respect.

Technology can support care. It can never replace it.

The Leadership Shift

Training your dragon changes how leaders show up.

You move from doing everything to setting direction. From managing tasks to guarding culture. From reacting to supervising outcomes.

That isn’t abdication. That’s stewardship.

The system doesn’t replace judgment. It demands better judgment.

The Question That Matters Most

The wrong question is easy to ask.

Can we automate this?

The right question is quieter and harder.

Should we?

Does this protect dignity? Does this strengthen trust? Does this create more space for presence?

When the answer is yes, Augmented Intelligence becomes a gift. When the answer is no, restraint becomes leadership.

The Point Beneath the Process

This was never about technology.

It’s about trust.

How we train these tools will teach our teams what matters. It will show families what we value. It will reveal whether we believe care can be rushed or whether it must be held.

Augmented Intelligence is a powerful tool.

But in funeral service, tools must always serve people, not the other way around.

That’s how trust is protected. That’s how culture is preserved. That’s how we lead by legendary example.