A Letter to Young Funeral Professionals

If I could sit across the table from you for a few minutes, coffee cooling between us, phones turned face down, this is what I’d want you to hear.

I’ve spent more than forty years in funeral service. I’ve stood in prep rooms late at night, driven hearses before sunrise, sat with families when words ran out, and watched this profession change in ways I never could’ve predicted. I’ve seen the best of it, and I’ve seen the parts we don’t talk about nearly enough.

As this new year begins, it’s worth pausing before the pace picks back up. Spend some quiet time evaluating your own mission and vision. Ask yourself what kind of professional you want to be, what kind of life you’re trying to build, and what matters most to you now, not five years ago. Then take an honest look at where you are professionally and ask whether the direction you’re headed actually aligns with those answers.

If it doesn’t, that’s not failure. That’s information. Information gives you the opportunity to adjust your compass before you drift too far off course.

So let me say this plainly.

If you’re not being treated well, if you’re not being supported, if you’re not being compensated fairly, it may be time to make a change.

And if your work leaves no room for the rest of your life, that matters too.

Funeral service is not a nine-to-five profession. We all know that. But there’s a difference between meaningful sacrifice and chronic depletion. Being available does not mean being consumed. Being dedicated does not require surrendering your health, your family, or your sense of self.

You spend your days caring for people in their most vulnerable moments. That level of emotional and mental labor requires recovery time, boundaries, and leadership that understands you are human first and a professional second. Without balance, even the most capable professionals eventually lose clarity, patience, and joy.

At the same time, this profession asks something else of you: growth.

If you stop learning, you will burn out faster. If you stop growing, the work will begin to feel heavy instead of meaningful. Lifelong learning isn’t about collecting credentials or chasing titles. It’s about staying curious, sharpening your judgment, and honoring the responsibility this work places in your hands.

Seek out education that stretches you. Learn from people who’ve been in the profession longer than you, and from those who see it differently than you do. Read. Ask questions. Pay attention. The professionals who last are the ones who never assume they’ve arrived.

And as you grow, there will come a moment when you realize something else.

This profession survives because people give back.

Mentorship is not an obligation; it’s a privilege. Someone once took time to show you how to stand, how to speak, how to care, and how to carry yourself when things were hard. One day, you’ll have the chance to do that for someone else. When that moment comes, say yes.

There are funeral homes that understand all of this. Places where balance is respected, learning is encouraged, and mentorship is part of the culture. If you’re not experiencing that where you are, don’t assume it’s all there is.

You spend too much of your life serving grieving families to feel stuck, undervalued, or misaligned with your own purpose.

This new year is an invitation. To reflect. To realign. To make thoughtful changes that move you closer to the life and career you actually want.

This isn’t about walking away from funeral service.

It’s about choosing to stay in it with intention, direction, and a compass that truly points where you’re meant to go.

• Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CFP, CFSP

About the Author

Jay Jacobson is a licensed funeral director with more than forty years of experience serving families, mentoring professionals, and leading funeral home teams through seasons of change. His work focuses on leadership, presence, and the everyday decisions that shape culture, trust, and longevity in funeral service. Jay is the author of Lead by Legendary Example, a story-driven book grounded in real-world experience that explores how character, consistency, and care compound over time, both personally and professionally.

Learn more about Lead by Legendary Example here:

https://www.jacobsonprostaff.com/general-8