2-Minute Tip: Handling Awkward Arrangement Questions with Grace

By Jay Jacobson, LUTCF, CPC, CFSP

During an arrangement conference, a daughter leaned forward and asked softly, “What if we cannot afford everything Dad deserves?” The room grew quiet. Her words carried both love and uncertainty, and in that moment the right response was not a quick answer but a calm presence.

We let her finish her thought before speaking. That pause showed her she was heard, and it gave space for her feelings to settle. When the time came to respond, we began simply: “That is an important question. Thank you for sharing it.” Acknowledging her courage eased some of the tension in the room.

Rather than moving immediately into numbers or logistics, we spoke from values. “There are meaningful ways we can honor your father within the level that feels right for your family.” By framing the conversation around dignity and care, she began to relax. Her shoulders eased, and her family leaned in with relief, knowing they would not be judged or pressured.

In the days that followed, we followed through on every promise—providing clear options, calling when we said we would, and ensuring the space was prepared with care. Those small, consistent actions carried as much weight as the words we spoke. They showed that our compassion was not only spoken but lived out.

Moments like these remind us that leadership is not about grand gestures. It is about guiding families through uncertainty with patience, respect, and integrity. Each response we give shapes not only how families feel but also how colleagues learn to serve. By meeting awkward questions with grace, we model the culture we want to carry forward.

In the end, it comes down to this: listen with intention, acknowledge the courage it takes to ask, respond with care, and follow through with consistency. Awkward questions then become opportunities to build trust and reflect the dignity and compassion that define our mission.